Some simple steps to stupidity

Step one: forget to give Connie a check for the ferrier tomorrow. Go by after work (around 9:45) to drop it off, then come home.

Step two: go to the store. Bring home a huge Snapple, two bags of chips, and two energy shots.

Step three: eat/drink the products of step two, especially one of the energy shots. It is now approximately 10:30 p.m.

Step four: Procrastinate

Step five: start essay at about 11:00, but multitask by keeping five tabs open--one for Facebook, one for Hotmail, two for research, and one to look up names for Horsey. This will take about an hour.

Step six: find an ABBA playlist on YouTube. Sing along with every song. Neglect all else.

Step seven: put a load of clothes in the washer, ignoring the fact that this could've actually come between steps three and four.

Step eight: get distracted by the coin jar sitting in your room and take at least forty-five minutes to count it. Trust me, it'll be worth it, as you'll turn up $65 richer. Again, forget about the nagging thoughts in the back of your mind (that sound suspiciously like your mother) telling you that you should be wrapping up so you can go to bed. Remind yourself that the process is only about halfway done.

Step nine: Post a status about not wanting to clean the kitchen.

Step ten: Clean the kitchen, and turn it into another way to put off going to bed. Deep clean, and hand-wash half the dishes. *Don't* step on the glass that you find under the stove while sweeping.

Step ten point five: in the middle of doing dishes, remember that you have another load to put in the washer. Drop everything to go find another load, and return fifteen minutes later to dishwater that is getting pretty chilly. Finish the kitchen, making sure to go overboard with the use of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser you happen to find under the sink.

Step eleven: It is now close to three o'clock in the morning. You now debate whether or not it would be wise to go to sleep. Then you remember that you still haven't packed, and that it has to get done tonight, as you'll be going to Connie's after school to see Horsey, and your mom wants to leave at about six. After realizing all of this, you sit down to write a blog post while listening to a mix of Disney songs.

That's as far as I've gotten. It's 3:00. I'm *still* waiting on laundry so I can *start* packing. This is an awful situation. And that is why I'm your instructor in Stupidity 101. I hope you enjoyed this crash course.